Dear Diary,
Holy Smokies, its been a while eh?! I have been sitting on my butt being all bored this evening, so I decided to make the best of my home alone state. I put on the ugliest sweater I could find and listened to depressing music and Disney (of course), obviously both put me through an emotional roller coaster. I even danced around and made stupid distorted faces in the mirror making myself slightly terrified of my own face. Yeah, I did a lot of exciting things in around 15 min. Yet I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of boredom... which is weird because I don't ever have those emotions lately (working everyday and school and social life and what not). Soooo What am I going to write about then??
How about...
My sweater... its life and story in a mystical tale.
Once upon a time, there lived a sweater, and it had terrible self esteem. Teenagers and classy ladies would walk by take one look at it and grimace, uttering the same words "HA THATS AN UGLY SWEATER!". This hurt the poor sweaters feelings. It hung on its usual hanger, being pushed from left to right as eager mothers searched through the racks. The little ugly sweater began to lose hope in finding someone that would love it and all of its ugliness... when one day a plain girl walks into the dusty thrift store. She scanned the room when suddenly her eyes rested on the sweater, the sweater stared back in alarm. The cruel words always came, but this time it was different... The girl smiled with content. This was of course new to the humble ugly sweater, taken a back it watched as the girl walked up to feel its itchy material. She whispered "You are the one" The little ugly sweater and its flabby sleeves, itchy wool, and weird patterns life was made. He was bought for $6.35, said goodbye to its awful hanger and wrapped its warm wool around the girl. Giving her a hug of pure ugliness, and they skipped away. The girl no longer plain, the sweater no longer alone. And they skipped into the sunset, to be mocked together. Forever.
Don't cry now. I know its emotional. This is love...
Tanisha
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Food baby
Dear Diary,
Easter... is a beautiful time. But who ever decided Easter should involve chocolate, probably died from all the teenage girls sitting on him/her. Squishing that poor soul to death from all the weight gained from the huge amounts of chocolate consumed.
I am usually pretty good at avoiding food I shouldn't have, or taking just small amounts. But today once I walked through the door, there was LITERALLY a HUGE BUCKET absolutely FILLED with devilish CHOCOLATE! I was hoping that the hooligan gang of 12 year old boys had eaten it all up the day before at the Carter Family Easter BBQ. I mean it makes sense! Where else did they get all that energy!? They were bouncing off the stars!
Anyway, of course me being a girl... in the same room with this bucket of chocolate... with no one else in the room... I just stared at it. That chocolate and I had a stare down... NO SURPRISE... it won. I jumped on the couch flicked on Netflix, watched a super depressing movie and hoped to eat only a couple chocolates (3 or 4). But I ended up consuming so much, that I ended up eating off my belly like some obese hippo. (Yeah hippos are already fat, now imagine an obese hippo... Isn't pretty!) WHY WOULD SOMEONE LEAVE A BUCKET OF CHOCOLATE ON THE COUCH?! WHY?!
PLEASE OH PLEASE. If you have a teenage girl living in your home... unless you want to be sat on and be squished like the person at the beginning of this post... don't, I repeat DON'T leave a bucket of chocolate on a couch in front of the TV. Although she will act like she is in heaven at the moment, in a matter of seconds when all the chocolate is gone, you will see a food baby protruding from her stomach and fiery eyes screaming for the guilty to admit he/she was the culprit for this terrible sin. You don't want to be the one sat on... Trust me.
-Tanisha
Easter... is a beautiful time. But who ever decided Easter should involve chocolate, probably died from all the teenage girls sitting on him/her. Squishing that poor soul to death from all the weight gained from the huge amounts of chocolate consumed.
I am usually pretty good at avoiding food I shouldn't have, or taking just small amounts. But today once I walked through the door, there was LITERALLY a HUGE BUCKET absolutely FILLED with devilish CHOCOLATE! I was hoping that the hooligan gang of 12 year old boys had eaten it all up the day before at the Carter Family Easter BBQ. I mean it makes sense! Where else did they get all that energy!? They were bouncing off the stars!
Anyway, of course me being a girl... in the same room with this bucket of chocolate... with no one else in the room... I just stared at it. That chocolate and I had a stare down... NO SURPRISE... it won. I jumped on the couch flicked on Netflix, watched a super depressing movie and hoped to eat only a couple chocolates (3 or 4). But I ended up consuming so much, that I ended up eating off my belly like some obese hippo. (Yeah hippos are already fat, now imagine an obese hippo... Isn't pretty!) WHY WOULD SOMEONE LEAVE A BUCKET OF CHOCOLATE ON THE COUCH?! WHY?!
PLEASE OH PLEASE. If you have a teenage girl living in your home... unless you want to be sat on and be squished like the person at the beginning of this post... don't, I repeat DON'T leave a bucket of chocolate on a couch in front of the TV. Although she will act like she is in heaven at the moment, in a matter of seconds when all the chocolate is gone, you will see a food baby protruding from her stomach and fiery eyes screaming for the guilty to admit he/she was the culprit for this terrible sin. You don't want to be the one sat on... Trust me.
-Tanisha
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
The Devil
Dear Diary,
I heard it again in the darkness of the night. Scratching... it started little by little every night... always taking me by surprise and fear. Fear that the noise would come closer, and it did... Every night the beast became more comfortable to my slow, warm breathing. I would hide under the warmth of my covers and wait till the light of day would stream through my blinds. Making the night monster disappear, slinking back to its hiding spot.
I go through my day and see where it attacked. Viciously mauling my furniture, moving its way to the garbage. The lack of happy singing birds, curiously missing from every morning. I know it's the monster's doing... What kind of a devilish creature lives in my home?
Each night it get's closer, until finally my peaceful room becomes disturbed by another presence... I peer out from under my blankets and see it's yellow dragon eyes. It moves an inch closer at every blink my eyes demand. I know I will be its next meal. The devil climbs on to my springy bed, never taking it's eyes off mine. Crouching down, its inhuman heart beat rhythmically to my own. It's claws extend, it's back legs spring. Landing on my face, I scream as the devil rips at my face with its evil fangs. I grabb it by the scruff of its neck, I throw the creature away from me. Switch on the lamp and holler "PHOEBE!! YOU STUPID CAT!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" She slinks out of my carpeted bedroom with out taking her beady eyes off of me, hissing her cruel curses at me. When the Devil finally disappears, I flick off the light and sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.
-Tanisha
I heard it again in the darkness of the night. Scratching... it started little by little every night... always taking me by surprise and fear. Fear that the noise would come closer, and it did... Every night the beast became more comfortable to my slow, warm breathing. I would hide under the warmth of my covers and wait till the light of day would stream through my blinds. Making the night monster disappear, slinking back to its hiding spot.
I go through my day and see where it attacked. Viciously mauling my furniture, moving its way to the garbage. The lack of happy singing birds, curiously missing from every morning. I know it's the monster's doing... What kind of a devilish creature lives in my home?
Each night it get's closer, until finally my peaceful room becomes disturbed by another presence... I peer out from under my blankets and see it's yellow dragon eyes. It moves an inch closer at every blink my eyes demand. I know I will be its next meal. The devil climbs on to my springy bed, never taking it's eyes off mine. Crouching down, its inhuman heart beat rhythmically to my own. It's claws extend, it's back legs spring. Landing on my face, I scream as the devil rips at my face with its evil fangs. I grabb it by the scruff of its neck, I throw the creature away from me. Switch on the lamp and holler "PHOEBE!! YOU STUPID CAT!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" She slinks out of my carpeted bedroom with out taking her beady eyes off of me, hissing her cruel curses at me. When the Devil finally disappears, I flick off the light and sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.
-Tanisha
Monday, March 11, 2013
English hotty
Dear Diary,
I walk into my English class... Set my back-pack down, pulled out my binder, pens, books, and start doodling (out of habit). Unexpectedly, the air around me changes. The boy detector in my brain starts buzzing in my ear. When I finally look up to see what has caused the alarm...In slow motion.... Picture this... The CUTEST... I mean the CUTEST Boy walks in... sloww moottioonn... As he steps through the door my jaw drops. My eyes transfixed! I stop breathing, hoping he doesn't notice my drool as it trickles down my chin, onto my doodle of a submarine.
My whole world shatters as I stare this boy down. All of a sudden, his perfect blue eyes meet mine. My eyes widen in terror and embarrassment. I quickly look down at my drool puddle, and wipe my chin. Holy Smokies... I am going to be in the same class as this DUDE?! and he is going to sit ACROSS from me?! Wow... the universe must love me.
Yupp :) Although I like to pretend I am too good for guys, or make fun of girls that do the exact same thing that I just did... Its true... I am also a girl... and this is a guy... Dont judge me.
-Tanisha
Friday, February 1, 2013
Zoning out
Dear Diary,
I have this strange habit where I zone out.
I zone out in the middle of a conversation with someone, I zone out while watching a movie and I then have to rewind, I zone out walking in the street, and even zone out in the middle of eating and end up choking, then needing the assistance of someone to slap my back. Because I once again, forgot about the system of chew and swallow. Although my face goes blank, my brain is going all over the place with crazy thoughts. For example...
I was actually in the middle of making lunch one day when I discovered I needed another ingredient for my delicious masterpiece. But when I swung open the fridge door, I instantly zoned out and forgot what I was doing. The world around me no longer existed All that I was conscious of... was the fridge...
My brain started to get excited at the sound of the bottles that clanked at the door opening so suddenly, that I began to wonder what the fridge would look like inside during an earthquake. So with out hesitation, I wrapped my arms around the fridge. Making sure to keep the door open to see what it looked like inside. I began to shake, but because of my noodle arms containing no muscles, the fridge barely budged. This time finding all the strength from my whole body, and channeling the little strength I had from my abs (Well... the abs I didn't have) I shook the fridge so hard bottles clanked, milk spilt, lettuce danced and I was thrilled by the chaos that was held in this cold box.
Suddenly, I went back into consciousness. The clouds disappeared the stars faded and the sounds around me finally spilt through my ears. Then I noticed that there was almost no sound to be heard, but a stifled giggle. My family stood there, all with frozen expressions looking at me with disbelief, at my sudden insanity. My father stood a good while off with a sandwich in hand. With wide eyes he questioned Slowly "Tanisha... what... are you doing??". I then became aware of what I was doing. With my arms still around the fridge I took them back and answered "Just wondering what the fridge would look like inside during an earthquake". At that comment my family burst out in laughter. Not with me, because I believed it made total sense. But AT me... What a cruel world.
-Tanisha
I have this strange habit where I zone out.
I zone out in the middle of a conversation with someone, I zone out while watching a movie and I then have to rewind, I zone out walking in the street, and even zone out in the middle of eating and end up choking, then needing the assistance of someone to slap my back. Because I once again, forgot about the system of chew and swallow. Although my face goes blank, my brain is going all over the place with crazy thoughts. For example...
I was actually in the middle of making lunch one day when I discovered I needed another ingredient for my delicious masterpiece. But when I swung open the fridge door, I instantly zoned out and forgot what I was doing. The world around me no longer existed All that I was conscious of... was the fridge...
My brain started to get excited at the sound of the bottles that clanked at the door opening so suddenly, that I began to wonder what the fridge would look like inside during an earthquake. So with out hesitation, I wrapped my arms around the fridge. Making sure to keep the door open to see what it looked like inside. I began to shake, but because of my noodle arms containing no muscles, the fridge barely budged. This time finding all the strength from my whole body, and channeling the little strength I had from my abs (Well... the abs I didn't have) I shook the fridge so hard bottles clanked, milk spilt, lettuce danced and I was thrilled by the chaos that was held in this cold box.
Suddenly, I went back into consciousness. The clouds disappeared the stars faded and the sounds around me finally spilt through my ears. Then I noticed that there was almost no sound to be heard, but a stifled giggle. My family stood there, all with frozen expressions looking at me with disbelief, at my sudden insanity. My father stood a good while off with a sandwich in hand. With wide eyes he questioned Slowly "Tanisha... what... are you doing??". I then became aware of what I was doing. With my arms still around the fridge I took them back and answered "Just wondering what the fridge would look like inside during an earthquake". At that comment my family burst out in laughter. Not with me, because I believed it made total sense. But AT me... What a cruel world.
-Tanisha
Thursday, January 10, 2013
"I need help"
Dear Diary,
Malia, Cheyenne, Zeek and I went on an adventure today. It was such an enjoyable adventure filled with sitting under a blanket tent on top of a mountain, playing tag in the park, and watching the sun go down as we chased seagulls on the beach. Driving home from our fun time we suddenly got a craving for something bad. Probably because we have all been strict on ourselves with what kind of food we consume, this crazed junk food craving led us to A&W. (Which I regret so much now... because I feel so nasty inside!)
After eating, Zeek went into the Mens bathroom and told me to wait out side the door because I already had to explain to him that girl's can't go into boy's bathrooms. So while I was waiting I heard lots of noise going on inside. I hear a slam, a pitter patter of little running feet and water making all kinds of splashing sounds. Next thing I know I see the door swing open beside me and there stands little 4 year old Zeek. Yelling out, so all of A&W could hear "I NEED HELP". Obviously I am not going into the mens bathroom to check it out (I am too wimpy). So I take him into the girls bathroom wash his hands and hope what ever he did in the bathroom wasn't THAT bad...
Sorry A&W employees for what ever surprise my 4 year old cousin has left you!
-Tanisha
Malia, Cheyenne, Zeek and I went on an adventure today. It was such an enjoyable adventure filled with sitting under a blanket tent on top of a mountain, playing tag in the park, and watching the sun go down as we chased seagulls on the beach. Driving home from our fun time we suddenly got a craving for something bad. Probably because we have all been strict on ourselves with what kind of food we consume, this crazed junk food craving led us to A&W. (Which I regret so much now... because I feel so nasty inside!)
After eating, Zeek went into the Mens bathroom and told me to wait out side the door because I already had to explain to him that girl's can't go into boy's bathrooms. So while I was waiting I heard lots of noise going on inside. I hear a slam, a pitter patter of little running feet and water making all kinds of splashing sounds. Next thing I know I see the door swing open beside me and there stands little 4 year old Zeek. Yelling out, so all of A&W could hear "I NEED HELP". Obviously I am not going into the mens bathroom to check it out (I am too wimpy). So I take him into the girls bathroom wash his hands and hope what ever he did in the bathroom wasn't THAT bad...
Sorry A&W employees for what ever surprise my 4 year old cousin has left you!
-Tanisha
Sunday, January 6, 2013
The Adventures of a 2 year old.
Dear Diary,
There once lived this 2 year old that liked to get into everything.
Her name is Agnes, but I like to call her Aggy.
Most of the time I don't notice her getting into things, until its too late.
For example:
Aggy asks for a drink of water. So me wanting to be a good human being, I gave her a cup of water. That was a bad idea, because that showed her HOW to get the water. I walk out of the room for a couple seconds, then walk back into the kitchen.
There she was, with out a shirt...dumping water on the floor and throwing bits of dog food to make her delicious, kitchen floor stew just THAT much more tasty. To my horror she then bent down to drink from her creation on the floor. Grabbing her I run to the bathroom, sit her on the toilet and run to drop a towel on the kitchen floor. But to my amazement once I run back to aid the sopping wet 2 year old, I find she has also learned how to use the bathroom sink as well! I grab her again under one arm, and reach for another towel to soak up the new mess on the bathroom floor and take her to the living room to wait as I clean the bathroom. once I get to the 'delicious stew' on the kitchen floor I noticed that Aggy made it back to the kitchen, to grab another drink of water, but not from the mess on the floor no... but from the dog dish.... shrieking in horror I grab her once more. I put her under an arm as I fumble around the living room in search of a remote. I click on 'Max & Ruby', flop her on the couch and instantly she is glued to the TV. I now have a safe chance to run around the house with towels and spoons. The towels to soak up the puddles all over the house, and the spoons to scoop up the soggy dog food from the floor. Before I get back to the living room I grab a shirt for Aggy and pull it over her mischievous smile. kneeling down to her height I plea "Please Aggy.... can that be enough adventuring for one day?"
THE END.
-The Exhausted,
Tanisha
There once lived this 2 year old that liked to get into everything.
Her name is Agnes, but I like to call her Aggy.
Most of the time I don't notice her getting into things, until its too late.
For example:
Aggy asks for a drink of water. So me wanting to be a good human being, I gave her a cup of water. That was a bad idea, because that showed her HOW to get the water. I walk out of the room for a couple seconds, then walk back into the kitchen.
There she was, with out a shirt...dumping water on the floor and throwing bits of dog food to make her delicious, kitchen floor stew just THAT much more tasty. To my horror she then bent down to drink from her creation on the floor. Grabbing her I run to the bathroom, sit her on the toilet and run to drop a towel on the kitchen floor. But to my amazement once I run back to aid the sopping wet 2 year old, I find she has also learned how to use the bathroom sink as well! I grab her again under one arm, and reach for another towel to soak up the new mess on the bathroom floor and take her to the living room to wait as I clean the bathroom. once I get to the 'delicious stew' on the kitchen floor I noticed that Aggy made it back to the kitchen, to grab another drink of water, but not from the mess on the floor no... but from the dog dish.... shrieking in horror I grab her once more. I put her under an arm as I fumble around the living room in search of a remote. I click on 'Max & Ruby', flop her on the couch and instantly she is glued to the TV. I now have a safe chance to run around the house with towels and spoons. The towels to soak up the puddles all over the house, and the spoons to scoop up the soggy dog food from the floor. Before I get back to the living room I grab a shirt for Aggy and pull it over her mischievous smile. kneeling down to her height I plea "Please Aggy.... can that be enough adventuring for one day?"
THE END.
-The Exhausted,
Tanisha
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